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Break from NG

2017-07-20 12:28:12 by SnowTeddy

I regret that through out years I had not built a fanbase outside of NG. Most of them are just anonymous posting here and there, probing for random experimental projects, including ARMA 3 Resist. And when I decided to leave here, it's maybe time to consider that I should stop depending on this community.

I used to consider NG to be my home. Where things and places are neccessary warm and welcoming. NG is where I first made my beginning stance on sharing music. It was a great platform for newbie musicians. But I'm not newbie anymore. I hate to consider myself as experienced composer, but look like time has outgrown my thought. I thought, I could be one of the few last veteran composers standing in this community and reaching out to help and comfort new musicians.

But then enters the community. It has always been a hit and miss with this community. Non-stop drama. Like if the shit was hilarious then I wouldn't say anything. Just endless childish drama, dragging from one to another. And like a friend of mine used to say: "A bunch of grown-asses acting like manchilds". This is what happened to this community. NGAP can never grow beyond the boring infighting, jealousy, envy, hatred and backward thinking, that these people all believed other more mature and experienced users are out to get their asses.

Everyone here, especially the mods and the current contest judges, both have their own little world and fantasy. Delusion into believing the world would revolve around them all the time. I was easy going with some of the people on here, the top brass, but I could never get close to them no matter how hard I tried. They have their own ego bubble and aura of self-importance that you might as well as avoid them. What I was thinking even tried to be friend with them.

Evidently how they shot down Peter Satera because he was giving advices. Yes all he did was giving criticism to the contest. What was the reply? Like if they were attacking the topics, then I wouldn't say shit. But they were attacking him, like ad hominem straight ahead. Interesting matter is this happened in the past, where Peter did exactly the same thing, giving complaint and advice in another NGADM and got shot down.

People don't feel for other. They at least should have some manner. But nah it's "power trumps experience". And that's what happening here. I'm gonna say all these shit before they come for my ass. People are leaving. And many of them are my friends. It's sad to see the state of things have to end here. Not just sad, but disappointing.

I'll start bulding fanbase on other platforms. Will definitely be way smaller than NG, but at least I know that I could stay away from these toxic drama. Now that I have much more experience than 10 years ago, it's definitely time to move on.

I'm thankful for all the help, advice, support and work come from amazing people like backwardecho, BlueOceans, Mattashi, larrynachos, TheOverGhoul, Ceevro, Ectisity, Chrono, Megabit (MithyxSounds), MysticsSkillz, JacobCadmus... Many thanks to Kelpalots for her awesome knowledge and experience. Big thanks to RealFaction, at least he stays true to his heart. And ForgottenDawn for being a guidance. And this five people that I respect and admire the most, that their talents and heart always deepest: LSD, Jordi, Phono, SoundChris and Peter.

I know I said I had beef with the mods and judges, but there is an exception, Troisnyx. I don't blame her. She's emotional like I am and I feel that she's not intended to be angry or hurtful to people. And Trois' pasts are full of suffering, I understand they affect her current feeling and way of action. I put myself in her shoes and she's a good person. And now she's helping to make the community a bit better. I appreciate that. I still have hope Troisnyx can be the rolling stone that break this bad wall of drama away from the community. But that's just my opinion.

I will not delete my stuff here, unless the mods 'accidentally' wipe them out. They are Public Domain Mark 1.0, meaning free for any uses, or copyleft. And you do not need any permission from me. For the collabs, ask LSD for permission cos he hold the license right.

Take care, and well being for all!

Disclaimer: This is a quarter-shitpost attempt, another quarter dose of depression and a half serious dose of hell.

Now that NGADM is not my problem anymore, NGUAC half-drowning result, and i have nothing to worry about, dangerous thoughts fire away.

Readers be warned.

Welcome to SnowTeddy's handy guide on How To Nearly Overdose Yourselves With Acceptible Subtances. You have a bad day? Your boss is disappointed at your slow ass and ineffective work? Do you ask yourself would you want a job motherfuckers? Do you wish for free days and nights so you can work on those boring bloops and bleeps (aka music) shit?

Are you a working class person?

Then this guide is for you.

I've done all of this shit. After my life turned to shit, I turned to drug and booze. As wasted my life was, I want to experiment with all kinds of shit that will definitely kill me in near future. You are welcome to join!

A - Cocaine Simulation Without Effort

risk: HIGH

Best to do this at midnight. Just be careful with this.

  1. Get a bottle of vodka, Absolut preferred.
  2. Get a can of Monster Assault for the half broke
  3. Pour both energy can and vodka into a mug, 50/50, stir them a bit.
  4. Put that mug of poison into the fridge for half an hour
  5. Take few sips at a time
  6. if you start showing effect, STOP TAKING THEM!
  7. if you do them all at once, your mom will find you dead, naked.
  8. Get high.

Disclaimer: there are 40% chance you will show OD effect from doing crack. There is clear 15% chance you will OD for real. And that's mean dead. 

  • Pro - high on coke without coke
  • Con - if your are OD Naloxone kit cannot save you

B - DMT With PTSD/Depression Meds

risk: LOW

Like most people after the war, Zoloft is prescribed to those trash ex-soldiers like me with PTSD and depression. anybody took it for years would hate Zoloft like shit. I hated taking it. But then I discovered its upper side, and have been stocking Zoloft for this purpose ever since.

  1. Start with 200mg of Zoloft.
  2. If no effect, wait 12 hours then increase to 400mg.
  3. Max 400mg.
  4. You will show sign of nausea on first try.
  5. If you see hallucination, both sight and sound, you are doing it right
  6. rest on a bed or a chair.
  7. shitty thing about Zoloft is it kicks in really slow. 
  8. Wait for the machine-elfs.
  9. Enjoy you fuckers!

Disclaimer: The chance of dying from Zoloft OD is very low, it was engineered to prevent idiots from ODing with it. But there's always some stupid chance with idiots made it through. Huge majority of the serious case of OD is you will puke everywhere. The light OD effect is similar to DMT and Adderall. Heavy one will show LSD effect. DO NOT TAKE ALCOHOL WITH IT AND READY A PUKE BUCKET IF YOU DID.

Pro: wouldn't die from OD, most of the time

Con: very slow effect

C - Weed For The Broke

risk: LOW

sometime I ran out of hash and needed some shit for my high trip. so i gotta improvise!

  1. Drink black coffee, big mug. maybe 2.
  2. about 5 shots of Scotch
  3. turn on this album of Hidden Orchestra on loud speaker
  4. sit back
  5. enjoy

Disclaimer: it's like high on coke except not that dangerous.

Pro: won't OD that bad

Con: you will have strangest insomnia

D - Fent without Easy Ride from Grim Reaper

Do you want to know what doing fentanyl feel like, especially when you nearly die but don't have the courage to die for it? i'm here for ya.

risk: HIGH

  1. Lock your door and window
  2. Xanax (legally prescribed in most states and provinces), take one bar
  3. mix Scotch with vodka, one full mug
  4. lay on the bed
  5. relax, fuck sticks!

Disclaimer: out of all above, this is the highest risk. If you woke up found yourself cuffed in a squad car, be warned, but not my problem!

Pro: hell of a trip

Con: You will not remember shit you did, including murder. during that time, you black out and on auto pilot


And go back to work fellow slaves!

Although my music's NG license is limited to CC BY 3.0, because this is the most open license on NG. However the actual license of all my music, past, present and future should be Public Domain Mark 1.0, meaning absolutely no restriction on the use and redistribution. This license will stay unchanged even I will no longer be with you.

This work has been identified as being free of known restrictions under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights.

You can copy, modify, distribute and perform the work, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.


Urban Motion, Cold Current, Water Is Life, Cradle of the World, Middle Of The World, Tide Of Time, Edge Of Time


Shanty Town, Continuation Of Life, Spark Of Hope In The Sorrow, The Way Of Life, Song Of The Wind, Through Ice, Winter Breeze, Tower Of Despair


Traceur, Stormbreakers, One More Time (And Around), After Humanity, Ain't Animals, Fly Away


Society Of The Spectacle, Final FormChasing The Sun, Weapon Of Drum And Bass Destruction, Toronto Uprising, Requiem For Neon Light, Memory Malfunction, Verticalocation


Great Commune Of Planet EarthTwo Steps From Your GarageUrban Motion (remix), Lost In The Hustle And Found You


Love Knows No Border, Voice Of The Voiceless, Catalyst, Who If Not You - Now If Not When, Cage Of MemoriesConstant Of Contempt, Misdirection, Resillience, The Sysadmin's Tune, This Track Is A Spook, Prison Of Dream, Faith And Heaven, Faith In Freedom, Freefall, Drifting Along, Ground Zero, Children Of The Circuit


Turnkey Tyranny, Zombie Commodity, Manufacturing Consent, Control Is An Illusion


One Or Zero, Symphony Of Chaos


Next Life

Net Neutrality: You cannot vote your way out of this

2017-07-12 17:54:54 by SnowTeddy

Every four years the population is due to expired from panic attack of corrupted political system. When the liberals blame each other and reationaries, and vice versa. But nobody took the courage strong enough to look through their own soul, just to realize that the problem lies deeper than the Red versus Blue bullshit.

It's not the first time Net Neutrality issue got brought up and being attacked. This issue isn't solely Cheetos Benito's problem. The Democrats-backed FCC constantly attacked net neutrality for their last 2 terms. PIPA, SOPA, ACTA... There is no dichotomy because you are yelling at two faces from the same devil's body. You can never change the system from within. Reformism does not mean change. You are doing the same shit as everyone else. Voting is the illusion of choice in the capitalism plutocracy.

What's the solution? Abolish the system. Self-organize. Educate, agitate, organize. Every step begins from yourselves. Build decentralized and self sustained network and meshnet. Use encryption and free software. Practice security culture. Mutually support each other.

Stop depending on the masters.


Debt: The First Five Thousand Years and There Never Was A West by David Graeber

Conquest of Bread and Mutual Aid by Peter Kropotkin

Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell

Why Socialism? by Albert Einstein

Society Of The Spectacle by Guy Debord

From Democracy to Freedom

Every Scientist Should Be An Anarchist


How Nonviolence Protects The State by Peter Gelderloos

EFF's Surveillance Self Defense

Voting VS Direct Action

Self As Other

Burner Phone

The Borders Won’t Protect You but They Might Get You Killed



Food Not Bombs

Redneck Revolt

John Brown Gun Club

Anti-Racist Action

Anarchist Black Cross

Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice

No One Is Illegal

Red Warrior Society


A Civilian's Guide to Direct Action

Recipes for Disaster

Deserting the Digital Utopia


my car is ded

2017-07-11 20:08:58 by SnowTeddy

engine leak and battery died on the same day. and i was wondering when will this goddamn Civic give up on me. car got towed to the garage. gonna take weeks... now i gotta bike to work...

fuck my life. maybe i'll get a Chevy Impala this time.

i've never worked on so many music projects this time

2017-07-03 19:33:53 by SnowTeddy

NGADM, NGUAC, Chips Compo, little unfinished side projects... and the goddamn day job where i had to pull off 9-10 hours a day sitting the office.

but it's worth doing everything.

Quotes from Joe Hill (Joel Emmanuel Hägglund/Joseph Hillström)

2017-07-02 22:08:06 by SnowTeddy

In the anniversary of the founding of the Industrial Workers of the World, 111 years, I create this post to honor one of the best musicians I respect and admire. I'm as a Wobbly, honored to learn about this man.

Joe Hill is always as one of the greatest folk musicians in 20th century.


I die with a clear conscience, I die fighting, not like a coward.

No Wobblies from all over the world forget the words and music of Joe Hill.

Workers of the world awaken. Break your chains, demand your rights.
All the wealth you make is taken, by exploiting parasites.
Shall you kneel in deep submission from your cradle to your grave?
Is the height of your ambition to be a good and willing slave?

My will is easy to decide
For there is nothing to divide
My kin don't need to fuss and moan
"Moss does not cling to rolling stone"

My body? Oh, if I could choose
I would to ashes it reduce
And let the merry breezes blow
My dust to where some flowers grow

Perhaps some fading flower then
Would come to life and bloom again.
This is my Last and final Will.
Good Luck to All of you
Joe Hill

Rest in Power, Rebel Joe.

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, "But Joe, you're ten years dead,"
"I never died," says he.

and Europe.

every motherfucking year.

the masters meet together so they can discuss how to fuck you over.

bring it hell, European comrades.

when the pigs disperse, the street is our.

Let's give them the pain every of their G20. See you on the street.

What if I told you that 5 out of 10 popular media you watched, listened and read, would borrowed from the core ideologies of anarchism. And you cannot avoid or ignore it? Often we overlooked these perspectives of what the movies, shows, music or books about why the media spoke about what anarchy really is. Anarchism transcends age and time.

To ask yourselves, what is anarchism? The wikipedia doesn't tell you a lot beside the simple "without rulers". But the missing part of it is up to you to explore anarchism and the anarchy in your own self. I find it's almost too comical that those who's trying to misinterpret anarchy as some sort of hierarchic system of their own. Like how one could try to marry Taoism with fascism and misogynism belief. But they are misguided by the society, like we all were. And there are plenty of room for education.

Which is why I made this post today.

Anarchism is stateless, classless and to abolish all forms of authorities and hierarchies, whether it's class, sex or race. However there are room for (informed) temporary and necessary hierarchy as Bakunin said it, such as a parent protect a child from danger. The bigger picture and core principal of anarchy is mutual aid which Peter Kropotkin laid the groundwork for critical understanding of anarchy. The ability to care for one and another regardless of culture, race, sex or background. The common interest and cooperation of survival between species to disprove "survival of the fittess" are not the represented fact of evolution. Mutual Aid by Peter Kropotkin is most important alternative fact and understanding of evolution that being missing out by capitalists, because it doesn not fit their narratives and exploitation.


The movie plot and story line is literally linear and straight. But that's not the points and purposes of the movie. Snowpiercer penetrates and puncture deep into the notion of harmonies, with the core principal of anarchism, socialism and communism as a whole. Class. The whole plot of Snowpiercer from beginning to the end is literally about class war. It's the truest representative of our society. First we need to understand what is class. There are two core classes, the working class, or Marx coined the term, proletariat, and ruling class, the bourgeois. But ever since neoliberalism separated these two classes, with the third pseudo class, middle class. Technically, middle class is still working class, however they are subjected to believe that they are above the poor. As George Carlin said it, "the middle class was invented to scare the fuck out of the working class."

Let's summarize the movie's purpose. The protagonist, Curtis led a revolution by caused Gilliam to take over the head of the train, Wilford. But later they only realized when reaching the front after bloodshed, that the revolution, and all other revolutions, were being perpertuated to maintain and manufacturing the consent of change. Noam Chomsky pointed out that limited conformity of change, is being created and manufactured all the time to subjected people into believing that they done something different.

But there are other two protagonists, Namgoong and Yona. And one of them who survived. Survived the bloodshed of the system. Throughout the movie, they constantly looked and think outside of the train. By the end of the movie, Namgoong blew the train door and derail it, kill everybody on the train but Yona and another survivor. Namgoong and Yona, are the anarchists. We don't want to take over the plantation, we want to burn it down and free everybody. As George Carlin said it, no revolution without bloodshed. So when you are too conforming for change, stop riding the fence and step over.

Mr. Robot

The show doesn't bother to hide its true purpose. Anti-capitalism. Anarchist group try to take down the system. Mr. Robot is the powerful head on that struck the idea of our society and why we fuck shit up. Mr. Robot shows the deepest fear, depression and anger of everybody struggling daily for food and shelter. It spoke to our lives and why we fight for what's necessary.

But there are another point that Mr. Robot showed that most people, even the closest fans of it, missed out completely. Mental illness being framed in the show as another core point, beside capitalism. But little known, that Mr. Robot tries to tell us that Elliot's disability is the main and most serious cause of capitalism. And the show pinpointed this problem right from the first episode. In Canada, it was reported that by 2020, mental illness will be worldwide's second largest source of disability. That we wanted to be sedated.

Mr. Robot connects every core issue with art and power. It's truely one of the greatest TV show in our time.

Which Side Are You On Remix by Rebel Diaz and Dead Prez

This music video is an art and it shows how powerful music and graphic can bring to people. It gets more addicting with every watch. What's more powerful is the lyrics of the track. It contains everything that anarchists fought against and still fighting for. Racism, sexism, classism, union, colonialism, war, commodity, police brutality... and capitalism.

One of the core problem that this music video pointed out, is people ride the fence. Stop doing that. Pick a side. If you want to stick with the ruling class, stay the fuck there. But if you want to help the working class, come over. Don't sit on the fucking fence and pretend that you play both sides. Either be a comrade, or class enemy/traitor.

The Handmaid's Tale

You cannot address anarchism without feminism. Against patriachy and misogynism is the core principal of anarchism/socialism. The Handmaid's Tale strikes deep into the the men's fragility of humanity. It's funny how misogynists always fear of feminism and women's rights, they never ask themselves, what's to fear if you really that care about women? The misogynists will stop at nothing to oppress women.

Triple oppression, classism, racism and sexism are inseperable. As Angela Davis said it.

first world's problem

2017-06-19 20:47:16 by SnowTeddy

mosquitos. BIG mosquitos. and the goddamn ticks. i went hiking and mountain biking the other day out of town and holy shit i get chased down by insects of all kinds.